Introducing 'The Nightmare'

So last night I went out to Area (drip, drip). Yes, I went out on a thirsty Monday night but it was only because my sorority sister (who lives in New York) is only in town for a few days and I really wanted to capitalize on any time I had the opportunity to spend with her.

When we first got to the club, it was wack, per usual, but by the time midnight kicked in the club was rocking. Apparently it was Eddie Murphy’s birthday, so he and a lot of other random celebs were in attendance, and I do mean random.


For whatever reason, the girls I was with and the girls in the club were all acting really thirsty. My friend Rachel* jumped all over (whom she didn’t realize was) Pleasure P from Pretty Ricky to point out (yes point out, her arm was even extended) comedian Marlon Wayans of all people (Who cares right?). She later went up and actually spoke to him-an LA vet no no but she’s from the I.E. so what can I say?

Then another girl who I was with, Tracy*, heard the DJ announce that Shemar Moore was in the building. We had already seen him and thought nothing of it but apparently Tracy had this huge unrelenting crush on him since forever I guess.

A third friend, Lala* knew him so she introduced Tracy... who at some point by the end of the night received a kiss on the lips from Shemar... disgusting. There was no tongue but still.

At this point, I’m utterly revolted that I know these people and really upset with my decision to come to the club. As I’m scanning the room shaking my head at the extreme dehydration, the crowd parts like it does in a dream when one character sees their love interest- and there he was.

Not my love interest but Lil Wayne! He was walking through a corridor on the other side of the dance floor, that was blocked off by a glass window. I couldn’t run, I couldn’t scream, I couldn’t jump. I really didn’t know what to do since I had no idea I was harboring such untapped giddyness about Lil Wayne.

I don’t think Lil Wayne is even remotely attractive but as soon as I saw him, I got super amped and just had to see him up close. I made a haphazard bee line through the crowd to try to catch him at the other end of the corridor. As I was standing there searching for him, the crowd parted once again and through the crowd of thirsties I saw............... THE NIGHTMARE*!!!!

(::Cues the music::) Dunh Dunh Dunnnhhhh!!!!

The Nightmare is the ex-boyfriend/wannabe BFF (Can I get a pitcher of water?)... now to tell that story I’d need more than a blog, I’m need a novel but we don’t have time. Suffice it to say that it’s extremely rare that I see him, being as though he doesn’t live in this city and I knew that he’d only flown in a mere 10 hours prior to this sighting. But alas there he was, like a mirage.

I went up to him and spoke. He looked at me like I was a stranger for .5 seconds as his mind registered that my hair was different and that I was indeed myself.

We talked for about 7 or 8 minutes which is forever in club time. Hugged about 2 or 3 times, IDK why. We were excited? I introduced him to the other girls I was with and out of nowhere comes the GF to rain on the parade. She was apparently watching us from afar and I guess apparently wasn’t too happy about me hemming up her dude at the bar.

When she realizes it’s me, she breaks her little huffy face, smiles and gives me a big hug. The Nightmare tells me that as a part of my non-existent BFF duties, I need to befriend the girl. (Not gonna happen) I’m pretty sure he told her the same things because in all of the 7 years that I’ve kind of known her, she’s never been so excited to see me. (Where’s that pitcher of water I asked for?)

As soon as we hug, he walks off and she carries on her own 3 minute conversation with me. The entire time I’m talking to her, the only thing I can thing of is... “Does this girl really know who I am or what she’s getting herself into?” Sadly, I think not, but when the cards are dealt I have no other choice but to play the game. He wants me to be nice. I’ll be nice. More on that later...

*The names have been changed to protect the thirsty.