The Show

Okay so the last week has been more than a little rocky with "The Dream" and I, but he’s still around so I think that’s enough said.

We went out the other night and we had a really good conversation. We finally got to the juice- we discussed past relationships and what we look for in a partner. It’s damn near scary how similar we are. I don’t want to get into specifics but I can say that we pretty much have the same attitudes about dating. It was very refreshing to hear him describe a relationship as a “partnership,” a nice break from the guys who usually describe their ideal “wifey” as something analogous to a personal assistant (with benefits of course).

I also love the fact that he’s just as picky as I am. When he said that he’ll stop talking to a girl the moment he finds out she doesn’t have her shit together or he can’t see himself being with her five years from now, I was sold. I’m the exact same way. I hate wasting time on people.

The most interesting thing about the conversation was when he described how difficult it is to date him (as if I didn’t already know). Outside of the fact that he’s virtually always busy, he also described how difficult it is for potential mates to deal with the performance aspect of his life.

“The show” doesn’t stop when he leaves the stage. The whole persona that they have created for him is supposed to be his reality and therefore, he’s always on. This isn’t really a shock to me. I’ve already had trouble trying to describe to my homegirls just how different he is offstage than when he’s on (they’ve only seen “the show”). However, it was the first time that I realized that “the show” for the majority of the people that he comes into contact with never stops... and for those closest to him, who are in on his little (or huge) secret, they become a part of “the show” too.

I’m not really sure what I think about all of this yet. I’m seriously playing this one by ear because on the one hand I really like him (a rare thing for me) and on the other hand I’m not sure that I can handle all of this- the chaotic schedule, the infrequent visits/dates, and "the show."