That’s what my away message on aim read last week. Despite the clear reference to the Ginuwine song, I actually meant every word of it. I am looking for my number 1 fan, but more importantly I’m looking for someone to join my team- a partner. Someone who views me as an equal and not a subordinate.
Today I had a reflection on a past failed relationship in which I put my foot down on an issue and refused to compromise. The issue was important to me and I was dealing with all kinds of “I don’t want to lose myself in another relationship ever again” issues. In the end I was proud of myself for sticking to my guns about something that I thought was so important. But in the end, I was also alone.
In thinking about this relationship, I asked myself: If women aren’t supposed to have the upper hand in a relationship, can we ever win?
I want to know if I’m ever going to find something even close to what I’m looking for in a man, or is my empowering “Act like a nigga” phase going to lead me straight down the road to that pet store to buy the cats that I’m going to need to see me through old age?
My mom says there can’t be two men in a relationship. My mom also thinks boys are better at math. She’s sexist, but then again so is the world. Is my mom right, or is the world wrong?
It’s a terrible thought to have. To think that I, because I’m a woman, will have to settle for the first nigga that doesn’t drive me to murder just because niggas have perfected the fine art of stubborness.
But what can I do?
I don’t want the guy that’ll let me have my way. You know... Mr. Too Nice? Just a healthy balance a man that views me like an equal. One who compromises on the big ticket items and let’s the small stuff slide. Is that too much too ask?
I'd say I've become a feminist, if I didn't hate girls so much : )
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