Love and Marriage

So my co-worker bursts into the office with exciting news this morning. She's getting married. 

My first thought: "isn't everybody?" 

The one thing that I've come to learn and loathe about the summer is that it's the time when love is truly in the air and I've developed some sort of acute allergy to it. 

I expressed my happiness for her without showing any signs on my face that I was getting sick. I'd like to call this feeling jealousy but I'm not quite sure what that emotion feels like. I don't believe in jealousy- it's a weak emotion. 

So I snap myself out of my... bitterness is it? (no that's still not the correct emotion either)I leave all my smiling and giggling co-workers behind after what I deem has been a more than appropriate amount of fawning time. 

When I got back to my desk I abruptly change the tone of the conversation about apartment hunting I was having with a close friend of mine via g-chat before Sally Sunshine decided to invigorate the office with her "announcement": "If your bf proposes, notify me by letter otherwise I might stab you on reflex." Her response: "Well that'll be in about 5 or 6 years. I've seen what a wedding without money looks like."

I settle back into my comfy desk chair at ease- one less friend to worry about. 

Honestly, I just hate getting older. At first it was grad school. I felt like a slacker because everyone was continuing on to even higher education directly after undergrad. Now that I'm finally getting my grad school apps together, I realize I have a much bigger hurdle to cross and it's not just one that I can submit an application for when I get ready.